What do you call somebody who’s happy about finishing school?
A glad-uate.
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Bad Joke No. 144
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I think that a lot of the reason Jarvis has become so human is because Tony treats him like he’s human. Tony talks to Jarvis in a very colloquial way. He says “you up?” when he knows damn well that Jarvis is operational. He says “throw a little hot-rod red in there” instead of “paint components x, y, and z with red paint #20.” Tony treats all his machinery like that—Dummy and You, especially—and Jarvis is no exception.
Jarvis has become much more human since Iron Man 1. He actually displayed emotions in Iron Man 3—specifically when he feared for Tony’s life, his voice sounded terribly frightened, and in instances like the second gif where he said “I need to sleep” and not “My battery is depleted.” Jarvis has grown and changed, as any self-aware creature does. He has become human because he is treated as such.
(Source: runningawaywithaspaceman, via ijustd0i)
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heres a disappearing fetus troye
like magic
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I SAW THIS TEN MINUTES AGO AND I’M LEGIT STILL LAUGHING
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Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market
My roommate and I just looked this up and your bone marrow alone is worth $23 million. 23 million dollars. So if you ever kidnap someone, don’t hold them for ransom, just keep them in a vegetative state and slowly sell their bone marrow on the black market.
now ur talkin -
It’s a visual representation of entering a fandom.
(Source: tooprettyforprison, via wearing-sammy-to-the-prom)
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- expectations of summer: going to the beach every day, water fights, parties, random day trips, barbecues
- reality of summer: moving your laptop so that the sunlight doesn't reflect on the screen when you're trying to blog
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tall:
look at that guy on the left he is so photogenic i bet there is a stock photo of him laughing with a salad
fixed that for you
oh my god i found the post that started it all
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dont-argue-with-your-serperior:
im that one friend that doesnt date anyone and doesnt really go to parties or have a life really but when im over at your house ill eat all your food and for exchange i shall tell you bad puns
(via ibelieveinyour-fever)
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- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
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Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto Titanic in 1912, attends a first class dinner, develops a taste for the finer things in life, pockets the Heart of the Ocean, survives the sinking, pawns the diamond, spends the following ten years building his wealth and in 1922 moves to West Egg as Jay Gatsby… Millionaire with a shady past and fear of swimming pools.
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Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto Titanic in 1912, attends a first class dinner, develops a taste for the finer things in life, pockets the Heart of the Ocean, survives the sinking, pawns the diamond, spends the following ten years building his wealth and in 1922 moves to West Egg as Jay Gatsby… Millionaire with a shady past and fear of swimming pools.
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so I set up my headband for a date with a lawn gnome named Gilbert
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there are 3 types of people in the world: those that call him Flynn, those that call him Eugene and those that have no clue what I’m talking about
